I lost my dad a year and a half ago. We were close and it was heartwrenching. This past weekend my husband and i were trying to do a home project on a subject that was my dad's profession. It was going wrong and we couldnt figure out why. I had a mini breakdown. I missed him so much in that moment because he would have come over, took 2 seconds and told us what was wrong. Weird moments like that pop up and the little things because huge losses.

This is maybe the best LPT I've actually seen. Well done.

A marriage therapist gave us this tip.

Make a list of all the things that need to be done. Divide them into: Daily, weekly, monthly, etc. Then seperately (so the other cant see) write down how much this being done matters to you (scale of 1-10).

The person it matters to more gets ownership of that chore. You are more willing to do it if it matters to you. If the ownership list for each category is super lopsided review for chore time, difficulty, etc and try to make it fair. IE: mowing the lawn takes more time and effort that sweeping the kitchen, wiping the counters and unloading rhe dishwasher combined.

Then you each commit to own the stuff on your list, in the timefram alloted (daily, weekly, monthly, etc) and you dont do the other persona chorea or nag them as long as its getting done on time.

Implimenting this was great for communication, compromise and setting clear boundaries and expectations. Saved a ton of arguments and resentment.

You may have a bacterial infection but you PROBABLY need a stronger deodorant.

So i think the one thing that will actually help you is the one thing you said you half assed. Therapy. Go deal with your demons and get professional help and advice on how to appropriately make ammends. Its literally all you can do. Maybe people will never forgive you. Maybe your actions are unforgiveable. Regardless, you either learn to process it so its doesnt consume you, or you need to numb you feelings in an unhealthy way. Therapy is the right choice. If you dont like the therapist, find a new one.

Same. I recognize other people and assume they have zero idea who i am.

Lost my dad 2 years ago. Too young. I stumbled a cross a youtube channel where he would post drone videos he would make. There was one video a little over a minute long where my dad was explaining to my brother how a specific heater worked. He posted it there so it was easier for my brother to access. Its pointless stuff i cant care about but i watch it all the time just to hear his voice. The first time hearing it was such a gift.

As someone who has been on the other end of these conversations, knowing market rates is good but dont bank on those. Its easy for a company to say "we dont pay that here". Market averages are just that, averages. High mixed with low.

But understand what you can be making somewhere else and what value you bring to the table. Go high, but not insultingly high because they will probably go low. Understand what your true bottom line is and hold it. If they reject it, let them know you are dissapointed in their offer and quietly start looking for another job. They wont pay you what you want and your best bet it go somewhere else.

Correct. A bunch of us keep saying that OP has a battery issue. This LPT is stated as if this is something everyone should be doing. Its 100% unnecessary unless you have a bad battery. In which case, LPT: get a new battery.

Can you say it louder for those in the back???

You're spot on. Also its not uncommon for a problem to hid behind another code. So you fix the first code, think its good and then the real code pops up.

You dont need to. Unless the car is really old cars are built to cut the power after a few minutes of having a door/trunk open to avoid this exact situation.

This seems to be a lost idea on this LPT. Its mind blowing how many people know so little about cars but keep speaking like the mechanics are the ones in the wrong

Once your car is running, typically, your alternator is charging your battery enough to keep it fully powered.

Its amazing the amount of things that happen like that. And then people get a case of the eversince's. "Eversince you changed my oil my back tire leaks." "Eversince you changed my door handle my mpg have dropped."

As I said to OP somewhere else, people typically go to a mechanic because they dont know how to do the repair themselves. Yet they always seem to know more than the mechanics do.

You probably have a battery issue. Unless your car is 20 years old (and maybe it is) if they leave a door open, your car will automatically cut the power and all the lights will go off and stop using your battery. You can leave your car door open for 3 days and start it perfectly. Thats how cars have been designed for years. If you needed to be jumped when you left a mechanic and they didnt try to figure out why or suggest you need to replace a battery (or alternator) please dont go back there.

You dont know how to fix your car, so you bring it into people you must trust to do the job for you. And you are assuming these people who know more about cars than you, dont think about or realize what drains the battery and what that will cause? Im sorry you had it happen to you so many times but this isnt something that happens on a normal or even semi-normal basis for people.

Lol can't possibly be the most likely mechanical option. Must be someone else's fault.

Happy cake day.

No, shotty work wont cause that. And driving around another 10 minutes wont fix it. Im sorry you disagree. Customers always know more than the mechanics they bring their vehicles to. Its amazing. Im not trying to be a dick. Yeah, there are shitty mechanics just like crappy people in every profession. But the vast majority of mechanics and shops are good people who actually like fixing vehicles and want to help. And what you're saying just isnt a Life Pro Tip because its not true.

My husband has been in various positions in the auto repair industry for 15+ years. I asked him how many times he has heard of a good battery being dead, as you described, due to mechanics leaving doors open or letting the vehicle idle. His answer : "never. That wouldnt happen. Maybe if you had a bad battery or your car was from the 1990's. But no, thats not a thing."

Highway or small roads dont make a big difference these days with virable alternators. They will change depending on your speeds. If you are trying to charge a battery from dead, you need to put it on a charger. If its sat with the door open for a couple minutes, driving from your house to the grocery store will be fine

LPT: your engine idling doesnt effect your batteries so its clear you dont fully understand cars or the way mechanics work. Also, the vast majority of mechanics warranty their work and if you have an issue that is actually caused by their work they will fix it. You have no idea how many "ever since" people they deal with everyday complaining about problems that have nothing to do with the work they just did and they try to help them out anyway. Example: "eversince you changed my oil my rear brakes squeek." "Eversince you replaced my rear axel my front tire leaks."

If you are worried about the battery let it idle before you turn it off, no need to drive around putting more wear and tear on your vehicle.

Edit: In almost all cars in the last 15 years, any power from your doors being open cuts after a few minutes to avoid an accidentally drained battery. So mechanics working with your doors/trunks open wont matter. If your car started when you picked it up, driving home should have been more than enough to charge it battery (unless you like 3 minutes away). If you had a dead battery the next day either you have a bad alternator or most likely, your battery is going bad. Keep an eye on it.