throwRA-43142

throwRA-43142 OP t1_jaeaawr wrote

That's totally fair! I hadn't thought of that.

Maybe a better example then would be a couple of close friends that my wife and I have, both of whom I know personally on a much deeper level than the examples I gave, and both of whom I've known for years.

I have strong romantic feelings for both of them, one of them enough that my wife actually picked up on it a couple years ago and we had that talk, I assured her I had no intention of straying and it was just an attraction and it didn't cause any further insecurities or troubles in our marriage beyond that.

I have never been inappropriate with either of these women beyond normal things friends do, such as the occasional dirty joke or "that's what she said" nonsense.

1

throwRA-43142 OP t1_jae9nic wrote

I want to be clear that I'm not intending to

A: ask my wife to change anything about our relationship or "let me" try anything new

B: sleep with any "random crushes"

It's not even about just sleeping with others or sex in general, and the examples I gave are maybe not the best, there are others whom I know on a much more personal level that I also have deep feelings for. It's not purely lust, I know the difference.

That being said.. maybe you're right about the mid-life crisis part, that kind of touched a nerve, and I should examine that.

Maybe I'm just feeling stuck in my marriage and this is causing me to romanticize things more than the reality would be.

1