Oh no, it's the fuzz!

He's probably fine with ravioli and lettuce, he just wants a lot of it. Is it a buffet table (where he could load a plate, more than once), or like served plates with a small portion that would make him possibly embarrassed to ask for more?

Meh. Just treat it casual and let it lie. Oops if it comes up.

I love a good email or note - because it's not something you thought out to cut him down. He said something as part of a silly game you were both playing, and you said something defensive back. It's probably not a good type game (for anyone) to play with him, talking about families when that's a shitty area of his life. Everyone gets defensive about family. But it's going to go wrong for him pretty frequently unless the other person is willing to to have their family slagged and not say anything.