blood-soaked-earth
blood-soaked-earth t1_jb491tg wrote
Reply to comment by Visulth in [WP] - The vampire steps out, and his daughters cower and kneel where they stand. You ready yourself for the fight. Before you can raise your weapon, though, the vampire sighs, and with an embarrassed tone, says, “I’m really quite sorry for the trouble…” by X01Eagle
man, you're fucking good. you've got very evocative prose but i think you're skewing a little too minimal. give me just a little something more to chew on when you throw out stuff like "whatever I saw my revolver saw first" and ON THE FLIPSIDE ease off on the physical descriptions.
describing how the character had to angle down to get a shot into the tunnel was just a little clumsy but when you're working metaphor you're fucking golden.
your style is very meta so focus on your slick ass voice and dense prose and let the reader fill in more of the "mechanics".
blood-soaked-earth t1_ja6m8fg wrote
Reply to comment by TheFuckMuppet in A very pretty bird with her rock friends by RonSwazy
LMAO me too
blood-soaked-earth t1_j3ew6ju wrote
Reply to comment by jrakajbird in My friend finished a “Famous Incredible XXX Burger” in 15 minutes by jrakajbird
I KNEW IT!!
blood-soaked-earth t1_jb4x5vj wrote
Reply to comment by Visulth in [WP] - The vampire steps out, and his daughters cower and kneel where they stand. You ready yourself for the fight. Before you can raise your weapon, though, the vampire sighs, and with an embarrassed tone, says, “I’m really quite sorry for the trouble…” by X01Eagle
good, cos i say it cos i wanna read more!