I understand where you're coming from, but I've previously been almost homeless in a different major city years ago. I HAD TO move away, get myself situated, make money, regroup, and decide if I wanted to go back. If you're starving in Massachusetts but you're being offered food in Maine, you go where the food is until your strength is back. That's not failure or something to mock or weakness. If you aren't willing to stay in a shelter, halfway house, or use social services, you're putting yourself in real danger of freezing to death when you don't have to.

I've read your post history and seen many of your comments. It's been months, and you refuse to seek help or reach out to family in other states, you're fixated on a dream job that doesn't pay enough (even though you've said before you're qualified in other areas), and you will not look at roommates or the idea of leaving Massachusetts for awhile, and then returning when things are better.

You've also said you're working two jobs but also "own your own company." On every single thread, people are patient and provide links to services and organizations that can help. Something isn't adding up here, or you're deliberately leaving information out.

Box of Betty Crocker cookies, muffins, or cake, and then decorate how you want. Practice reading a recipe, making sure it's cooked all the way through, and not burning it. Once you're confident, bake something from scratch.