Someone somewhere was like "And you'll pay me how much? Sure, I don't care what it's for man, I'll get you the pigeons, and they'll be the right color"

My dude, it happens.

You're not alone and it's usually an issue of anxiety and nerves.

You can talk to a medical doctor, you can take to a sex therapist, read up about sex performance.

The main thing I'd advise: be patient and present. Listen to your body, don't get too stuck in your own head. Have fun and enjoy intimacy, and maybe even just take PIV off the table for a while. This can help relieve the pressure you put on yourself.

Alcohol and cigarettes make it worse, so the usual: mind your diet, sleep and exercise.

Consider laying off masturbating as you sort this out. Sex drive does build over time and masturbating can reset that drive as well

Move on

>she's always been weird about me locking doors to the point she ripped the lock off my own door. I remember she even unlocked my phone to secretly block a boy I was texting and in general has shamed me about topics surrounding stuff like this, not to mention SO MUCH other shit.

How long until you move out? Get out of there.

In the meantime, disable the camera permanently. You're not beholden to anything she recorded. If she brings anything up, it's a violation of your privacy. State that! "I'm not talking about this, you violated my privacy. Erase all that footage."

If you feel it's necessary, you could threaten legal action.

In the meantime keep your head down and focus on putting your time in to move out and get healthy boundaries

Ahem. Tell him you're developing feelings for him and let him know you want to explore that together.