Angry succubus noises

A pair of spies on a rainy day board a trip on a plane to hurriedly intercept the supervillain on the plains of Spain.

I mean, land of eleven thousand lakes also rolls off the tongue very well.

“If you’re trying to make me depressed, you should realize that untimely death results in a different outcome than nonexistence.”

He said, “The wolf Among U-“.

Extremely loud and cringe video game melody suddenly plays

A patasphere without the Scarlet King cannot be one that has the Scarlet King, but pataphysics is all-encompassing, and thus the Scarlet King must exist in every patasphere.

Except he doesn’t.

Thus, the Scarlet King does not exist in the True patasphere. He’s just exists in something that is labeled the patasphere, but isn’t really the patasphere, because there exists canons where the Scarlet King does not exist, and those pataspheres are uniquely distinct from pataspheres where Scarlet King does exist.

Basically, whatever is labeled the patasphere isn’t the patasphere, because it doesn’t contain infinite realities, because it either doesn’t contain the Scarlet King, it doesn’t not contain the Scarlet King, or there are infinite of Scarlet Kings. That last one would violate the Scarlet King’s existence, and that conflict is already makes the True patasphere a fake one.

The Scarlet King cannot exist. The Scarlet King must exist.

Alien furhatchlings.

Yes, and he’s well-versed in the novel branch of magical spell-casters that is “cheese magic”

I sympathize with Marcus. He’s had to listen and cringe as Wolfe and Ssu mispronounce Machiavelli’s name twice now, and he’s been on the team for longer, so he’s probably been listening to these two mispronounce Machiavelli for weeks at least.

I was the second upvote :) bye

Sir, this is the Internet.

We have everything here, but our supply of constructive criticism is often scarce. I’m sorry that we’re bad at it, but we try (sometimes. Admittedly, this was not one of those times. Sorry about that).

As for the commenter, ignore him. I had to scroll through your posts to try to figure out what he was talking about, only to realize that you aren’t spamming posts about this or something, but rather, he disliked the post idea overall. It’s a good post (idea), and he’s just being mean.

And now, in classic Internet insult/criticism fashion:

…Would you like to learn about a little thing that looks like the dot in letter i?

It’s called a period.

Use it whenever you end a sentence Otherwise people will start the next sentence without realizing that the first one ended They have to waste brain cell power when they do this They don’t like that That’s why it’s wise to use them You understand

It’s okay to end a paragraph without having a period at the end. However, in the middle of a paragraph it’s far too confusing. That’s why people get upset and downvote you.

I went through your posts to see what they were talking about, and…

Buddy…

I’m sorry to say this, but… your grammar is hideous. As in, You’re punctuating at weird Places, with little to no attempt at formatting.

Punctuation, please!

He didn’t care about the lives of the people he saved. He just cared about the fame and fortune he got from heroism. He killed Heath and Shawna so that he could claim to have defeated a long-time rival of his, even though he didn’t.

That’s what these guys are internally asking themselves.

Yeah, it was one singular furry, but he brought his kids to work.

Noooo not the furr-

gets overrun by half-dragon army

I Achoo smell the achoo achoo ow blood ACHOO of an… faints

I often like to imagine this scenario, funny enough.

No

My cat was gray.

He was so kind.

He was old, and he grew sick eventually.

He died a few years back.

I’d to imagine that he’s visiting MC’s dimension for the everafter.

Frank Fisher, found dead with a 2-foot-wide, 3-foot-long sword plunged in his back, a wooden spear through his kneecap, and a cauterized gunshot in the front of his head, with no bullet inside.

Don’t worry about it. That happens to me all the time, 0% of the time, how the heck did you mess up that badly.

You can never escape? You are trying to escape…

Guys, I think u/Absolute-Train-Wreck vented.

(PS: I made wrote a response for you)

Warning: This contains utter nightmare fuel. Enjoy!

————————————————————————

The giant orc roared at Sarah with laughter. She was, after all, just small human with no visible weapons. I tried to wriggle out of the rope I was tied upon, but to no avail. The 6-foot-tall orc had raided our tent during the middle of the night, and he had easily overpowered me. Sarah was able to escape from the orc at first, but now I was forced to watch as the monster backed her up against a wall.

“You don’t want me to do this”, Sarah said calmly. The orc confidently spat back, “Weakling. What could you, a feeble human, do to me?”. He punched a cobblestone wall, knocking out some rocks. “This is what I’m gonna do to you!”, the orc raider shouted. His bluish grey hand was stuck in the wall for a second, and Sarah took advantage of his reckless destruction to get to the other side of the room.

“Before we fight, you should probably know three things. First, I’m a warlock, and the child of a powerful warlock cultist”, Sarah said with the same uncanny calmness. The orc humored her and stood still to listen. This much I knew about my girlfriend. Her mother was a powerful and often dangerous warlock.

“Oh, so you need the protection of another entity in order to fight?”, the orc said mockingly, undermining her powers. Sarah started speaking again, “Second, my patron is an Old One. In fact, he is none other than Cosmatyraarnalunava. You know, the nightmare prince, or the bleeding moon. He was also my mother’s patron, and she was a very loyal servant, so I have good relations,” Sarah said, with increasingly notable confidence. The orc looked around nervously, and Sarah waited a moment before she continued her monologue.

Then Sarah laughed as she started to speak. “And, three. You said that I’m a feeble human. Well, that is incorrect. I am only half-human”, Sarah announced.

For a moment I forgot that I was strapped to the wall for a moment as she said that. Sarah had never told me about this, and she didn’t appear inhuman at all! I was under the impression that Sarah’s patron, Cosma-whatever, was human-exclusive, and he encouraged only interbreeding with other warlocks. Odd. Maybe he made an exception for his favorite follower?

“Oh, and I decided to add one last thing. You said, that I need my patron to fight my fights”, Sarah said, with a sinister smile. Her voice permeated throughout my skull and I would’ve clenched my head from the internal shaking had I not have been tied up.

Suddenly Sarah’s body just… melted away. Her entire body started forming into a slimy ball of flesh, which then pounced on the terrified orc. Sickening crunches sounded out of the ball, and after a minute the pile of flesh suddenly collapsed itself into a pool on the ground. The pool then formed a human hand that unraveled my ropes, and set me free.

The pool then formed into a vaguely human form, with blood flowing off of it and hairs intertwined with its flesh. Far too many teeth made up a forced, crooked, and vaguely human smile; multiple noses protruded from its skin above the teeth. A thick black line protruded from its abdomen and cut evenly down its waist through where its navel should be. Yellow eyes laid on both of its palms. It

This ghastly being stayed there for a moment, before it started shifting into a much more human form, its hideous form dissolving as its organs found their proper positions, shifting into a small female human with decent clothes on that complimented her red hair. Sarah appeared before me once again. “Apologies for that. Here’s some water, it should help with the brain damage”, a friendly eldritch screech echoed across my mind.