A sugar filled carbonated beverage is the last thing I'd want when thirsty. Don't confuse your own suggestability for good advertising.

How does this find a bot? Do they just start in on a random onion story or something so you know they're just picking keywords to elaborate on?

So the end of the story is you all left anyway right? How could you possibly get fired for just leaving after a power outage in a building struck by lightning.