Ok, well, sit down and think things through and get an answer that is more definitive than "I'm assuming". This isn't the time for ambiguity.

Then, when you talk, explain to him why you said that. Apologize again sincerely once, but don't belabor it. Reassure him that you don't feel that way, and use specific examples to back it up.

After that, you've really done all you can do. I don't think you should bend over backwards too much for a comment like this.

Huh. Does this touch on a specific insecurity of his?

It's not a nice comment, for sure, but it's also not long the lines of "you have never satisfied me sexually and you're pathetic". This seems a pretty strong reaction to a comment like that. I get that the comment stung, don't get me wrong! But it isn't as bad as what I imagined.

If you don't truly feel that way, can you trace your thoughts back to figure out why you said it? There is always a why, even if that why is just "I was being a salty drunk and said something to poke you to get a rise out of you."

I understand your vagueness, you want some privacy, but without knowing what was said, it will be basically impossible to suggest an effective apology.

Some more general suggestions:

• Since alcohol and a blackout was involved, stop drinking entirely. Reassess after 6 months what your relationship with alcohol is, and go from there.

• Apologize sincerely, but do not grovel. Do not feel so bad and guilty about what you said that he ends up having to do the emotional labor of comforting you. At no point should he feel the need to reassure your feelings.