Which song?

I’m a recent transplant, and I’m honestly relieved to leave the “neighborly” phoniness from whence I came. That said, this sounds like a you problem.

Our closest neighbor has a shooting range in his backyard. We sometimes drink beer and shoot skeet. I make bread for our other neighbor, and he shares from his garden and effectively has become my Vermont dad. Don’t move anywhere expecting to be welcomed with open arms based on some fantasy you have of a place. You’ll be welcomed when you demonstrate some grace and understanding of the space you’re moving to.

I very suddenly came down with the spins the other day. Just blasting out both sides for like 14 hours, then was fine. A couple diarrhea tremors the past couple days, but not like the initial exorcism.

Having grown up there, it’s really hard to imagine the kinds of stories I’m hearing from teachers. Like kids literally throwing desks in gen Ed classrooms, getting sent to admin, and returning with candy. Is it really that bad now in places like Montclair?

Oh absolutely, I just wonder if the teacher subreddit is a realistic sample of the entire country. I’d imagine there would be more disheartened, abused teachers drawn to social media to vent. Kind of like how the parenting sub Reddit is primarily parents at their wits end.

I’m inclined to believe that the problem is more widespread than not, though. These are federal based incentives and policies influencing every district. There also seems to be a clear shift in parenting attitudes over the past 20 years.

Yeah, I’ve been hearing individual stories like this from all over. I have friends in NYC/westchester area that are both parents and teachers describing similar problems in affluent districts. I haven’t heard much from Jersey folks, so I wondered if the state is a bit more immune to these problems.

Which district were your friends in? We moved from the SOMA district and I still wonder how things are going there.

I used to let out a groan of inconvenience along with all the other NYC subway commuters whenever the conductor would say, “we will be delayed due to a sick passenger onboard,” which was often code for, ‘someone jumped on the tracks.’

Then I moved to Vermont and learned to care that my neighbors exist!

Someone on our towns listserve referred to the new white people displacing the old white people as colonizers, and I had a bit of a chuckle.

As a parent, is there a way you would go about handling a bullying problem? Like if your kid was getting targeted, and the administration refused to do anything about it- how would you handle the situation? Or if your kid felt like they couldn't learn in a classroom where the teacher had to constantly divest their attention from teaching to address the specific behavioral problems of certain students?

These seem like extremely common scenarios, but admittedly most of this comes from what I'm reading online, or the occasional conversation with parents in public play areas/teacher friends. It's all anecdotal, but I've really not heard a single positive thing from anyone's experience. I'd mostly be worried about my kid thinking the real world operated like these schools, where the most outlandish behaviors receive the most resources with no accountability.

I guess I'm hoping that the horror stories I hear about are just the most extreme examples being expressed by the most dissatisfied teachers. Like the Teaching subreddit would make you think public schools are some dystopian hells cape. I've not read a single positive story coming from it.

I guess I would classify them as abnormally entitled behaviors? I worked in an EC center over a decade ago with 2-3 year olds. Sure, there was hitting and hoarding and all sorts of age appropriate-yet-maladaptive behaviors. I'm now subbing in a 4-5 year old class, and I'm seeing not just the aggression (that really should have been put in check by 3), but wildly age inappropriate aggression.

The other day, a 4 year old went up to another girl and declared her his girlfriend. She seemed on board enough to humor him, but then he wouldn't stop following her around. I waited on the primary teachers cue, who just said, "we don't do boyfriend and girlfriend here, just friends," and let it be, but the kid really persisted in invading her space. This went on until the point where she started saying, "no, stop, you're not my boyfriend." We were outside at this point, and he started grabbing her arm and yanking her towards him, until I went right up to his face, and pretty bluntly commanded him to let her go, saying "what did she just tell you?"

His eyes went as wide as saucers, and was in shock. Clearly no adult in his life had ever told this kid what he can't do to another person, and he ran off crying. I explained to him after why he had to respect other kids boundaries, and he seemed receptive, but I was left pretty stunned to see a 4 year old do that.

That's the most shocking example, but there is a pervasive attitude of (mostly the boys) that they are in charge. Maybe I'm sensitive to this kind of thing, but if that's now normal, I don't want my kid anywhere near it lol.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply! It makes me wonder if COVID is responsible for this shift in behaviors, or if it just accelerated this trend in public education. My mother has been a teacher most of her life, and she has noted that teachers have steadily been losing authority over the last 15 or so years. I have a few teacher friends from the NY/NJ area that have either quit teaching to go into curriculum planning, or are going insane.

I'm left wondering if it makes sense to opt into something private or online right out of preschool. I'm not worried about the quality of the teachers, but the detrimental experience of seeing kids day in and out never be held to account. Our experience with daycare was really rough- we only had him in a few half days a week starting at 2, just to get him used to socializing/separated from us- but it became very apparent that he was getting bullied (he wasn't very verbal at the time so it was hard to gauge). The staff would always just say "he had a great day!" despite his listlessness, and occasional scratches that I couldn't tell came from play or another kid. We pulled him from that, found a great preschool when he turned three, and has been thriving since.

I'm really worried about entering the public school, as the unchecked daycare kids are all headed that way. Our preschool is very parent involved, draws from all around the Upper Valley as opposed to just the town, and there are clear behavioral standards that have to be met. I feel like losing that could be devastating for him.

If you have a child, would you or are you comfortable with them going to your public school? If you had the choice, would you opt for something private?

Hey y’all, so I’m new to subbing in the local preschool our first kid attends. I don’t have an extensive background in teaching other than assisting in an early childhood center way back in college, but I am pretty shocked by the behavior of some of the kids. Nothing terrifying, but it makes me concerned about what elementary school could be like for my kid who will soon age into it the system. This concern is coupled with meeting a number of parents with toddlers from VT and NH in various public play settings that are already set to homeschool their kids.

I’m wondering if any public school teachers could chime in on their experience teaching in Vermont over the past few years. Unchecked behavioral issues in public schools seem so endemic to the entire country, but I’ve learned that it varies region to region. With Vermont dedicating such a high percentage of its property taxes to the school system, I wonder if our state is better off than others. I’m also curious to know what your relationships are like with admin, who appear to be undermining any attempts at managing unruly behaviors across the country.

I believe strongly in public education, but I’m worried about behavioral standards being set so low, (along with tying the teachers hands/blaming them for the kids behavior), that it becomes impossible to manage a classroom.

I have Vtel fiber, and get tops around 850 download speed on WiFi. Previously owners 2 years ago only got around 20 download speed because they used a cheap router.