It’s a very traumatic experience. But I’d do it again. I think.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the willful ignorance; naïvety.

Be well.

I’m M42.

Yes I agree. I’ve been told this same thing by therapists, my spouse, and some friends.

I don’t know why I can’t do that. I have teenage children. An amazing partner, and a lot going for me.

Making decisions is difficult. Three years ago I left the Mormon faith. I was born into it. My entire world view has been flipped on its head. A lot to unlearn. A lot to learn.

But my decisions don’t just affect me. They affect my children and wife. I’m terrified to “live the life I was meant to live”. I don’t even know what that is or if it even exists.

Anyhow. Thank you again for your kind words.

I find myself when I am in a low, at least once a day. Makes it difficult to stay motivated to do anything. It’s very difficult.

Thank you for making time for this thoughtful response. It’s a good reminder to think of the things I get to do not the things that I didn’t get to do. I get so stuck in the past and the future and it impedes me from living in the present. I’m attached to my past traumas difficult to move on.

Been searching every day all my life.

Any suggestions of how you personally do this?

Every day is the same fucking miserable state. Yesterday is today. Today is tomorrow.