He is black. They are white. The comment she made was a slur directly related to him being black.

Not the same as a parent nagging their teen to wear clean clothes or wear deodorant or clean their room

At this point it seems deliberate that your steering away from the fact it was based on his ethnicity - nothing to do with “dressing for success”. If this was a conversation about “dressing for success” there never would’ve been a comment that he would look like a thug- just no. Comments like this attempt to frame the issue as if they were merely giving advice re non ethnic issue, if she had said “it might be a good idea to wear a tie” etc that would be a different story

It’s different for a couple reasons, they’re his parents and when he expressed a desire to have a ethnic style associated w black people they should have honored that- and at a minimum not used what’s known as a racial slur in association with his desire to have that style

Very well said