Not reported ≠ not happening.

Yes people need to do better, but implying that something is not happening because it is not reported is foolish at best.

This is it. Right here. This person wins at life.

I feel like the only improvement would be leaving out the area code on the phone number because everyone knows.

It was probably already taken

FedEx SchmedEx, it’s because Leon’s ghost is personally driving your parcel to you and is a huge fan of hiking in Nashua. So he likes to make a pit stop to take it all in, especially this time of year.