Computer science

I'm not sure, I should have tested it, stupid of me. I kind of suspected it might've been NBOMe. What other stories have you heard about people on it?

Just how I like it

When I got back from the hospital, I knew I opened a word doc on my computer to write the secrets, and was excited to see what I wrote.

"John's world" is all I wrote (except with my real name instead of John)

I'm still 50/50 on if the experience was real, or some trick of the brain where it applies meaning to things that are meaningless.

I re-watched Star Trek TNG and there was an episode that really stood out to me in light of my experience. They run into a race who's language they can't understand or translate, and eventually they realize that they speak solely in metaphor. They explain it like this: If I say "Juliet on her balcony" to communicate the idea of romance, those words mean nothing to somebody that doesn't know about Romeo and Juliet. They're apparently non-sense, they carry no real meaning.

To me, discovering the secrets of the universe felt like I was solely thinking in metaphor: 1-0, push pull. But it felt like there was something /more/ behind those thoughts at the time. Once I sobered up, all I left was the seemingly meaningless metaphors, whatever the deeper meaning behind them was lost to me.

Of course, that meaning might be lost because it might have never existed. I'm 50/50 on if that's the case. Before the trip I was a hyper-logical person. I was an atheist that didn't believe in greater powers or anything large and mysterious in the universe. But having the experience, I've started to consider the possibility that we understand 0.00000000001% of the universe, and that there are many things beyond our imagination or comprehension.

Yeah that's it.

No need to be sorry, it was a cool experience. My biggest regret is that it's made me too anxious to do acid anymore.

I can try to explain, but it's difficult because it's just a hard thing to explain, and because I was basically half blacked out. It also might have just been a full blown psychotic break. There were basically thoughts and ideas in my head that weren't mine. I can remember very vividly how it started, all of a sudden the alphabet went through my mind, but it didn't feel like I was thinking the alphabet, it felt like someone else was pressing a keyboard and the alphabet was appearing in my mind.

I wonder now if it happened again if I could handle it differently. At this point I'm like 50/50 if it was real or just nonsense. Assuming it was nonsense, I wonder if I could have controlled myself if I realized it was nonsense. Before this happening, my brain never had to consider if what it was thinking was real. I didn't even have the capacity to think "is this thought nonsensical?" Now I think I do, and I think maybe if I ever had thoughts that seemed to deal with the nature of reality, I could stop myself and say "Yes this might be true, but this also might just be my brain miss-firing"

I took a year off then finished at a local school closer to home. I was already a year ahead of schedule from AP credits anyway. All of my trips to this point had been buttery smooth, the idea that something could happen that would prevent me from taking my other final never occurred to me, and only ended up costing me 1 class that I didn't really need

I was really already checked out at that point, I wasn’t really in control anymore.

Nope, I’m lucky I think that is a danger with crazy doses. But maybe it’s only common if you take crazy doses repeatedly

Yeah I think I had a blast, I don’t remember too much. Which I’m thankful for, there’s only so many memories of being naked and insane in front of people before it sours the whole memory

Yeah I’m thankful the only thing hurt was my pride. I realized when I sobered up I could’ve run into traffic or something. Haven’t really done any more acid since this story because of that

It was a tech school so definitely a disproportionately high population of Reddit users. And people definitely saw because a friend told me they heard someone talk about it at a frat party. If this post somehow blows up I bet at least 1 person recognizes the story

I could’ve run into traffic or something. I think it was less that I was dangerous and more that they needed to get me in the ambulance and I was totally uncooperative

Not sure how the logistics of a 1-2 month suspension would work, you’d be way behind in all classes. I didn’t hurt someone, but I could have definitely hurt myself. I could have run into traffic or jumped off a bridge, I was completely detached from reality

Could be. I was thinking more like everything in the universe is the ants locked in a battle of tug of war with itself which keeps the multiverse from falling out of existence

Oh it was a blast until I sobered up and the embarrassment of flashing dozens of stranger set in

Yeah definitely, they would've even lowered my suspension to 6 months if I told them who I got the drugs from but I'm no snitch lol. I'm guessing they wanted to leave the door open to me dumping more money into the school, it was a really expensive place and in retrospect they really only cared about making as much money as possible.

And the post was getting too long, I had to leave out the fact that I started recording when the universe started talking to me, so I had audio recordings of everything through the moment I got back from the hospital. The guy from the dorm across from me ended up going into my room to investigate and found an empty pill bottle and assumed I had run out of anti-psychotics or something.

And especially don't do lots of drugs, with nobody around to make sure you don't take even more drugs when you lose your mind

This is basically exactly what I thought when I got back to my dorm room from the hospital. What the fuck just happened? I mean, it was wild and sort of awesome, but what the fuck

I wish I could remember. All I can tell you is that I was screaming "PUSH PULL PUSH PULL 101010101010" - It sort of felt like the universe was based on the idea of constant push and pull. A self perpetuating cycle of corrections. Too far left and it steers right, then too far right and it steers left. Of course, it was probably all nonsense, but who knows, maybe not.