You’re welcome, make sure he’s aware of your boundary and ALWAYS pull through with the consequence- as a teacher I am telling you this is extremely important.

He swears aggressively- stay overnight at a friends. Doesn’t matter how much he apologizes and begs for you to stay, if you give in then he knows he can continue that behaviour.

Just be calm “I have told you my boundary, you crossed the line- I’m going to be staying away tonight and I’ll be back tomorrow to discuss this”.

It would be tough but I doubt you’d have to do this more than 1-2 times before it’s a very, very real boundary that he won’t cross again.

Boundaries are VERY important!

To be honest, I am not ever marrying for this reason. If someone is being controlling/abusive/disrespectful then I want the freedom to leave when I want, without paying 7 million dollars to divorce.

And I’m in a VERY HEALTHY relationship of 11 years, but I digress.

There’s no other boundary to set other than “if you continue to swear at me, I will make sure I’m not around to hear it”. If you don’t want to go the whole “leaving them” route, then you can at least DISTANCE yourself when it occurs. I’m sure after a couple of hotel nights your partner will realize he’s headed for divorce if he continues that behaviour.

What is he aggressively swearing over? If my SO is even a bit off base in his response to me I say “try again” and that’s enough to correct and apologize. It doesn’t happen often at all, because he knows that’s the response he will get or I will actually get in my car and leave (maybe 2 times in 11 years this happened).

So yeah, remain consistent and predictable and react in a way that doesn’t condone the behaviour. Removing yourself from the situation would be best, because he already KNOWS you don’t put up with that shit, so if he tries he can’t say he doesn’t know why you’re leaving…

I am glad someone else saw that. My first thought.

While true, it’s one of those things that you can’t control- your first instinct will be your first instinct.

It’s kind of like when people tell you you SHOULD hit the deer instead of veering away, but most people will instinctually veer around even though they know not to.

You’re only entertaining those ideas because you’re absolutely deprived.

Seriously, celibacy before marriage is a fools errand. So what if you save yourselves? You’re not even a virgin.

There’s zero point in waiting, you will never know if you’re sexually compatible if you don’t have sex before marriage.

Your options are:

1. Break up with her, and don’t EVER agree to celibacy again, in your next relationship
2. Bring up the conversation that you actually DONT think celibacy is a good idea before marriage and that you’ve changed your mind- hope she responds the same and explore each other sexually.
3. Don’t mention anything, continue having depraved thoughts and desires because you’re celibate, eventually marry her to have sex, then hope you’re compatible.

Act like an adult and have conversations that are difficult, and stop agreeing to shit that will eventually hurt you both.

Your girlfriend is not only childish and immature, but also manipulative and insecure.

Terrible, TERRIBLE combination. Let someone else deal with that, you shouldn’t be annoyed for the rest of your life…

I would never continue dating someone who spoke about me in such a way, whether or not it was before or after they “fell in love” with me.

You most likely lost a good guy, let this be a lesson to you about how to treat people in your future relationships.