"I still don't understand, I just want to turn my... Dollars? Into gold coins. Isn't that an easy thing to do?" Minnie covered her mic and mouthed a swear, then looked back at the dragon on the screen.

"Alright Vasriq, I'll explain again. You have money, dollars, and you want gold. Well you can't really just order it offline. You can but it'll be overpriced. You're better off going to a currency exchange or precious metal dealer and directly buying gold yourself. This really isn't a website issue, it's just not the right way to get what you want." She explained it politely for the thirteenth time, hoping he understood this time.

Vasriq glared vaguely at the Webcam. "Very well, I shall find a... Gold... Dealer. How many gold coins can I buy with this amount?"

"What amount?"

"It says 23.75 on my... App."

"Vasriq, get a job. You're going to need it."

I have yard chickens with unclipped wings and pigs in an enclosure. I live in a remote rural area with a significant coyote and black bear population, yet I've not had problems with either one in 2 years. I have 4 dogs of varying size and I often hike the nearby woods and walk my property line.

It's cuz I pee outside isn't it?

"Secure their weapons." The mortal commanded, gesturing to his subordinates.

The three Grey Knights balked, dropping into combat stances. Artorias spoke, "No one disarms the Grey Knights of the Holy Emperor."

The mortal drew himself to his full height, diminutive in comparison to the Space Marines, but his sheer force of will shone like a beacon to their Warpsight. "By order of Malcador the Sigillite, primogenitor of your order, by order of the Emperor of Mankind, and by order of the O5 Council, I demand the surrender of your weapons. There are... Things far more dangerous than Chaos in our vaults. Our remit is unmatched, our authority absolute." He held up a signet ring, and placed it firmly in the lead Knight's gauntleted fist.

The Knight looked at the ring and immediately surrendered his Null Stave. The others paused significantly but followed suit.

The Mortal nodded, "You would not be here if it wasn't absolutely necessary. We require your expertise." He turned and strode briskly through the enormous baroque doors, which opened for him silent and smooth.

They followed.

An interminable march of twists and turns past doors labeled with alphanumeric signifiers later, they came to a door. A brutal slab of adamantium and titanium alloys, with a variety of esoteric warnings on the wall nearby.

KETER HOSTILE LIFEFORM

The Knights shared a look as the Mortal spoke again, "When you enter this room, you will encounter an organism. It is nonhostile to Psykers. Please attempt to ascertain it's True Name and banish it."

The door slid open, revealing another massive door. The Mortal gestured and they entered. As the door swung shut behind them, Damocles voiced the thought they shared, "They sent us to a Daemon, unarmed."

Silence greeted him as the second door opened.

Within the next chamber was a large transparent container of boiling acid, the fumes filling the room were lethal, and the armor threat sensors of the Knights went berserk.

Inside the vat a distinctly inhuman skull bumped the glass, eyes rapidly forming and dissolving. A raspy, gurgling voice emanated from the tank, "Humans."

Artorias stepped forward, "We are His Holy Grey Knights, the Blade of the Emperor, Chamber-Militant of the Ordo Hereticus."

"You've come to kill me." It wasn't a question.

Regulus cut in, "We've come to send you home."

The creature considered, floating in it's deadly bath. "If you're being truthful, I welcome you. Let me out."

Artorias silently disengaged the systems filling the vat, from a nearby control panel. The acid drained, leaving a pitiful but large corpse. It's legs planted themselves as it leveraged itself up, tendons and muscle and flesh rapidly racing across bones to recreate it's body.

The beast regarding them was reptilian, huge, powerfully muscled, and clearly intelligent. It paced around them, menace exuding from it like an odor.

Finally it stopped and sat, somewhat like a dog. "How do I go home?" It intoned coarsely.

Artorias nodded, "Tell me your name. Your True Name."

The beast spat a disgusting sounding litany of guttural, unpronouceable noises. "Good luck repeating it."

Artorias nodded at Damocles, who concentrated his psychic might and started reciting the name, each sound an exact copy of the Creature's.

As he finished, the Beast stood, almost alarmed. Damocles spoke, "I command you to return from whence you came, in the name of the Emperor."

It started to rush forward as an unseen force gripped it with strength beyond reckoning. "WAIT! I CAN'T GO BACK! I DON'T KNOW THAT WORLD ANYMORE!"

Damocles looked at Artorias, at the beast that was desperately clawing to remain in the Material realm. Then he intoned with fervor, "You are banished!"

In the observation chamber, the O5 Council watched in amazement as SCP-682 finally died, at least in their estimation. An ancient file was retrieved, opened, and stamped with two new classifications, "Neutralized" and "Safe".

Deep in the bowels of the Warp, the Beast was home.

"Oh mighty one!" The vast and eldritch creature barely perceived the impassioned cry. It looked down and out, catching a glimpse of an infinitesimal speck, a tiny flash of light. It peered closer, it's very gaze withering the speck's armor and annihilating it's blade in a blaze of energy.

The speck rallied in the intense maelstrom of interest and tried again, "Mighty one, we have long provided you with all you ask of us! We've returned your loving attention with all material you desired and an unending multitude of sacrifices!"

The being now focused it's entire attention on the speck, entire solar systems vanishing without the sustenance of its continued musings.

The speck flickered and flared, the sheer enormity of the being flensing it to the bones and scouring it's mind. Finally it rallied, and rose to it's tiny feet, determined and focused. It looked up into the incomprehensible and utterly alien God that eyed it inscrutable and unknowable, "They have killed the Queen and are burning my home. Save us goddammit."

The speck evaporated, destroyed by the gaze of the Great One. It considered for a long moment, both an eternity and an instant. It rose from it's somnabulance, awesome and terrible.

To the specks, the Sun rose a second time that day. Then it fell. Like a sentient flame, it reached out and scoured their enemies. It skipped, bounced, skittered, and teleported around, through and beyond the specks, searing their enemies in unholy gouts of destruction.

The foes fled but it was far too late. The Sun had decided on their non-existence and it was meticulous and ruthless. The Great One hovered over the field of battle, carefully examining the world to ensure not one single molecule of the foes remained.

Satisfied, the Sun started to rise back into it's place, then stopped, as if remembering something. With a brief pulse of what seemed similar to amusement, the fallen specks were returned to life. The Queen rose from her death, and finally, the Speck that Spoke with God was rematerialized.

The Speck looked up at the Great One, it's form vanishing into the infinite as the world healed. The Speck whispered, "Thank you."

The Pact Is Fulfilled. Shall It Ever Be So.