Means there is a gas buildup. Which, in turn means bacterial growth. Throw it away immediately.

Considering that these packages are sealed under inert gases (mostly nitrogen) probably the seal was defective.

However, I would also record the batch number and check other cartons of the same batch for any signs of spoiling. Keep in mind that the entire batch may also be contaminated.

Is coronary bypass surgery included in the bill?

This deserves a huge celebration.

Come on! I was planning to Jesus tonight.

That doesn't exclude slavery, prison labor, forced labor, etc.

Thanks. Summarizes my sex life.

So he basically nuts to God?

Is this his proudest nut?

This is the correct way to express this situation. İf you said "My egg is wrinkled" then we would have to question how you could lay eggs, as we have done for some other redditors.

Play it safe.

Who doesn't.

Actually, I have seen similar, if not more extreme, packages in eastern European countries, especially ex-USSR.

I remember that in Ukraine, they were offering, in addition to these, firing a vintage WW2 76.2 mm artillery (using blanks) and driving a T-34 (for 3 km).

I have seen similarly themed "entertainment" also in Poland, Hungary and Czech Republic.

Your second sentence killed all potential fun.

Well, a rare chance to shoot down a blimp. Go get your gun(s). Hurry up. You may not have this opportunity again.