I have the same problem! I cannot handle caffeine to save my life! It makes me feel absolutely horrendous.

Recently, I had very little sleep as the neighbours had kept me up nearly all night with their party (lovely) and had to work a long shift. I literally could not keep my eyes open for the life of me, so I decided to get myself an iced coffee. I hate to drink coffee bc it makes me shit like there is no tomorrow (I have IBS) but it was an emergency and I really didn't want to fall asleep at work.

I felt like I had taken drugs and had a huge hangover at the same time. I felt nauseous, had a headache, got diarrhea half an hour after finishing, but at the same time my eyes where wide open, my hands were shaking, I couldn't sit still and I was having heart palpitations. While my brain still felt so tired.

I will never have coffee ever again.

Ask her what things bother her the most.

For example those dishes: why does she feel the need to do them immediately? Is it because she is bothered by the dirty dishes cluttering up the kitchen, or because she doesn't want to do everything all at once at the end of the day when she is already tired?

(Also a dishwasher is a great solver for this specific problem, but I know that is not always a possibility)

By finding out why she does things a certain way, you might start to understand her better, which may help in you being able to see the house through her eyes and picking things up a little quicker.