I used to buy eggs from a local farm whose chickens would always lay brown and deep auburn eggs (like the colors on either end of this photo). I swear, those chickens were on a better diet than I was. Whenever I cracked into one of those vibrant shells, the yolk was no exaggeration blood orange. Like some of the yolks were even so deep they were more red than orange. I miss those eggs, the best I have ever had.

I would definitely do your best to turn this into a gift before it consumes you and you begin doing things you'll regret. First off, get some of those heavy duty batteries like D or 9 volt for when you are feeling low, I suspect they may help. Like athletes take electrolytes, heh. Then like another user said I would consider becoming perhaps a therapist at a nursing home or something of the like. You can help people at the end of their life who want to go comfortably on their own terms, in my opinion, and you still get to eat.